I've Paid My Dues, Is It My Turn Yet?!?!

It's hard to keep positive when your wife, lover and best friend are going through hell. As I blogged about before, my wife, Kristina, is going through a rough time in her life. And as we wait for the march 4th Biopsy to finally know what the diagnosis is, I can't help but want to take all the pain from her and put it in me.

Most of my life has been a struggle and I have been through a few rough times my self. Yea I know I may not have had it as bad as some other's, but never the less, I have paid my dues and want to know.....Is it my turn yet!? I would like to cash in on whats due to me and pass that good fortune on to Kristina. Is this a possibility or am I barking up the wrong tree.

Lady Luck is a Bitch if she can't allow me to do this.

For as bitter as I have become and for as pissed off at life as I have been for skipping over me, I would give all this hostility up in exchange for this one pay day. I'm no magician and can't turn the clock back and change the past. All I can do is hope that that one in a million shot is directed our way and the Lady Luck slaps us in our faces.

You can argue that "God does things for a reason" and will tell you to Fuck off. I'm not a religious guy and don't believe in fairy tails. My intent is not to piss you off, This is my blog and my feelings, you chose to read this so deal with it. There is no reason for any one to go through this. She pad her dues and then some. This is a woman that went from knocking dudes out, to feeding the homeless and giving the shirt off her back. Kristina has a big heart and really wants to help every one she can. So is this her pay back for all the good she tries to do? Is this the reward from your god? If this is how that religion thing works then keep it. I'll keep doing what I'm doing cause it seems to work just as well.

I'm not looking for a religious debate here, I'm venting on the internet and your reading it.