I need to get this out.

It's been a while since I have posted, I know. This past week has been some what of a whirl wind for me. I did want to talk about some thing in particular that happen this week. Lets just call this my debriefing if you will.

As an EMS responder, we are trained to deal with emergency situations, and see people at their worst. We are trained to keep calm and let our training take over. All of this is true, but sometimes, when you think you are prepared to see some one at their worst, you get a little shock of sorts. allow me to tell the story. Don't worry, I will not use any names or reveal any specifics about the incident, H.I.P.P.A is protecting that, and like i said, I need to get it out. This is my way of dealing with it.

My partner and I were in the ambulance out side of the hospital when a man came running over to us waving his arms frantically. my partner and i jumped out and asked the man what was wrong. the man just dropped to his knees and started to cry. i asked him again what was wrong and then some one across the lot yelled over to us that there was some one in the car that needed help. We jumped back in the ambulance and drove the 100 yards or so to the car. I approached the vertical, and saw a man sitting in the passenger seat with his head back between th seats. I opened the door on the passenger side and asked the man if he could hear me as I shook his leg. The man just made some noise, but said nothing. i noticed blood splatter on his shirt, and what appeared to be bone tooth fragments. At that point hospital security showed up and called for the police. That's when I noticed bullet holes in the back window. I grabbed my stethoscope and listened to the mans chest, and verified he was still alive. His head was still back between the seats and I was looking at the bottom of his chin. I then grabbed the man by the shoulder and pulled him forward. as his head came up and swung towards me I saw blood running down the side of his face and a ping-pong ball size mass sticking out of his forehead between his eyes. At that instant, I knew the mass I was looking at was the mans brain coming out of his head. I kept my calm, and displayed professionalism, but in my mind, I had a grim feeling about the outcome of this situation. I then asked security to help me get this man out of the car. My partner and I slid a back board under his butt, i then opened the back door of the car, stood on the edge of the floor and leaned over the door, reached in the front and grabbed the man by the shirt. I then looked around and saw a nurse had come up to help. t gave the order and we spun the man and pulled him out of the car and slid him up the back board. As we were doing that, out of the back of his bloody head, some chunks of brain fell out onto the back board. We put the man on a stretcher. My partner, the nurse and myself , physically ran the 100 yards to the entrance of the hospital and took the right in to a trauma room. We put the man on the bed and took the back board out from under him. There were chunks of brain sliding off of it. The trauma team descended on the room, and as the man laid on the bed with a mass of brain coming out of hid fore head, all I could think about was how tragic this all was. We helped the team out with cutting off the mans cloths and bagging him until the team was in place.

now, it takes longer to tell this story than it actually took. From the time the first man ran over to the ambulance until the time we got the patient to the trauma room was all of five minutes. As this situation unfolded and I had a grim feeling from the time I got to the car, I did all that I could do to help that patient. I don't doubt what I did, I just don't think we as EMS are always prepared for what we see. I don't have nightmares about it, I did not get sick over it, I just can't get the vision out of my mind. It's not every day you see that sort of thing.

It truly was a tragic event and by the way, the driver of the car, the man who ran over to us, did not even have a scratch on him. How tragic is that for him.

Howie Abrams from In-Effect Records and Freddy Madball celebrate 20yrs with the Black N' Blue Takeover

Howie Abrams from In-Effect Records and Freddy Madball celebrate 20yrs with the Black N' Blue Takeover

Tear Another Hole in my Heart!

Well, another hole has been torn in my heart. My Rottie, Cayenne, has taken a downward spiral in her health. I know that she has liver 13 great years, but know it's just about time to say good by to her.

Her quality of life has dwindled down to almost nothing. She is not eating, can't get up with out my help, lost a lot of weight, and falls dow frequently. I was reall hopping that I would not have to make the decision to put her down. After Trixie, I am still not over that. But I don't think she will ho on her own with out suffering.

So, on Saturday December 1, 2006, I will call on Dr. Bestie to help me lay my Cayene to rest.

I have invited some friends and family down to be there with her, she is a people dog for sure, and I want her to feel loved in her final moments.

I can not explain how hard it is to know that it's time to let a pet go. It is by far the hardest ting to do, and get over.

And as much as I love dog's and would love to have another, I don't know that my heart can take any more. We also have 2 Yorkie's, and I don't know what I will do when the time comes. I just know that my heart can't take any more

What a Shitty way to start the new year

For those of you who know me, know that my dogs mean the world to me. And Trixie has been with me for the past 12 years. The past few day's she has not been her self, difficulty breathing, not eating, does not want to go for a walk. So I took her to the vet last night and found out that Trixie has Congestive Heart Failure. When the vet uttered those word, I was instantly CRUSHED! I felt sick, and my stomach felt like it fell out. They took blood, and x-rays, and found fluid in her lungs and her heart is 10percent larger than it should be. There is no telling how long she will live. She is now on medication for the rest of her life. I can't believe how fast this came on. She was running and playing one day, and now she can barley walk down the block with me. Well I have to be positive about it, she and our other dogs have a great quality of life and get lots of love, so fingers crossed...... What a shitty way to start out the new year. I already hate 2006.........

Black friday

Black Friday, the New Holiday Current mood: amused Category: Life Well here it is, another x-mass holliday season is thrust upon us! Just when I thought it was bad enough that x-mass items were on display before Holloween was even over, the infamous "Black Friday" has reered it's ugly head yet again. First let me start by asking, what dumb ass CAMPS OUT over night in a Walmart parking lot??? Are you people really that stupid? First of all think abut what you are doing. You are sleeping in a parking lot so you can be the first one in the door to buy some cheap crap that the person you are buying it for probably does not even want! I love to watch the news to see all of you dumb asses who camped out trip and fall and get trampled on on the way in the door. Guess your dumb ass isn't getting that $100 lap top this year. And how good can a $100 lap top from Walmart be anyway? Lets try and think this through people! I know it's hard to pass up thoes once in a life time 4 hour sales that only come but once a year, but this time next year you will pitching a tent in the local mall parking lot to get that "Black Friday" sale, and I will be sitting warm an snug in my bed watching the news of all you dumb asses getting into fist fights over the new Care Bear doll, and getting trampled half to death and laughing, because all my x-mass shopping is done. And yes, it was worth spending the extra money on my non-sale items just to see you dumb asses making fools of your selves to "kick off" the holliday season. Merry x-mass to all, and to all a good night..... Ho, Ho, Ho

Gothics. When they're not getting their asses kicked, they're busy getting drunk and having sex with dead animals.

They give me diarrhea. What the hell's wrong with them? They always look pale, weak and sickly. Nothing a reality check can't fix. But no, they choose to dress up like french poets and walk around like vampires. Why don't you losers get a life and quit pretending like you're depressed? Maybe then people will stop treating you like the dipshits that you are, and you'll gain some respect. You know, I've done my homework. I've probably checked out over 50 pages by people who consider themselves "gothic." I've read over 20 definitions, and none of them were consistent. They're quick to label themselves asgothics, but they can't even pick a definition and stick with it. Instead, they allow people like myself to stereotype them by aesthetics. The bottom line is, that there probably isn't a universally accepted definition of a gothic because the entire movement or lifestyle (or lack thereof) revolves around just that: aesthetics. Sounds trivial and unimportant to me.

Don't get me wrong here, I have nothing against depressed people. As I come to understand it, most gothics aren't even depressed. They just act that way because they're cowards. Cowards afraid of dying. I almost laughed out loud when I first read this. Afraid of dying? Why is this even an issue? Well tough shit. If they're so afraid of dying, then they shouldn't have been born. Not my loss.

They're so afraid of death and dying, yet they smoke, drink and have unprotected sex. I know not all gothics are like that, but I don't give a shit about being politically correct. So don't mail me saying "On your page you said all [insert name of dipshits here] are [insert stereotype here]." Yes, I know. Nobody cares. My point is that gothics are shitty, and something should be done about them.

I propose that we build a giant cannon, gather up all the gothics, pack them into the cannon, and launch them into a brick wall. SLAM. No more gothics. Maybe then they'd have a reason to be depressed. That is, if any of them lived. They're all so pale and weak that a mere launch into a brick wall might finish them off.

I was going to talk about this girl I went to high school with that was a shit-eating gothic, but I'm too tired. Just take my word for it, she was shitty.

So it's been some time since I last posted to my blog. I will say I am a slacker for this. But in this new age of facebook and twitter, and mobile everything, does any one even blog any more? I don't know that any one ever did, because I never read or scribed to one. So I don't even know if anyone has ever read mine. In any event, I will be linking to my social networks for the reason that I can say more and go off on my tangents with my blog. It's not so easy to type up your thoughts, especially if they are long or need more than 120 characters. Tonight, I will be importing some old blog entry's from some other sites I have used in the past, so if you have seen them, you will see them again. I my opinion they have held up over time and are a part of who I am. so with out further a-due........